Curated from 2,322 episode summaries
James Sexton has spent 25 years as a New York divorce lawyer to the high and ultra-high net worth, and somewhere along the way he became podcasting's go-to source on why marriages actually fail. We pulled every episode of his in our library, four appearances across three different hosts, and ranked them by how much new ground each one covers.
Expect a repeated core idea (he calls it 'slippage,' the slow accumulation of small neglects that ends relationships long before anyone cheats) but each conversation pulls out different case files, different statistics and different personal stories. Below is the order worth listening in, with the specific reveals that make each one worth your time.
Divorce Expert: Slippage Is Tearing Marriages Apart! If Kids Are Your Priority You’ll Divorce!
Sexton's second sit-down with Steven Bartlett is the most provocative of the four, built around his claim that 'every single marriage ends in death or divorce' and his declaration that he doesn't actually believe in the legal institution of marriage. He goes further than in any other episode here, calling marriage an 'incredibly dangerous idea' with a worse failure rate than skydiving, and lands on his most controversial opinion: that treating your kids as your greatest accomplishment is a fast track to his office because it means you've stopped paying attention to your partner. He also breaks down real numbers from his caseload, including a $65,000-a-month child support case and the detail that no wedding expo would rent him a table to pitch prenups. Listen to this one if you want Sexton at his most unfiltered.
Read the full episode notesJames Sexton: Divorce Lawyer on Marriage, Relationships, Sex, Lies & Love | Lex Fridman Podcast #396
The longest and most wide-ranging of the four, running over three and a half hours and covering everything from his 'Eight Mile strategy' (having a client openly own their worst texts on the stand to defuse them) to a public apology to Gordon Ryan for how he treated him years earlier. Sexton describes himself as 'empath in the sheets, sociopath in the streets,' shares the wildest prenup clause he's seen (a $10,000-per-10-pounds alimony penalty), and floats using psilocybin or MDMA for transformative divorce mediation. It's also the one where he opens up most about his own life, his Jiu-Jitsu training under Marcelo Garcia and his 4 a.m. wake-ups. Best for listeners who want the full philosophical range, not just the greatest hits.
Read the full episode notesContracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships | James Sexton
Andrew Huberman gets Sexton to make his sharpest case yet for prenups as an act of love rather than a hedge against it, backed by the striking claim that of the roughly 1,000 prenups he's drafted in 25 years, only about five of those couples ever came back for the divorce. The standout story here is a Goldman Sachs client worth $30-40 million who voluntarily wrote his yoga-teacher fiancée a flat $5 million divorce payout just to know she liked him more than the money; they're still married a decade later. Sexton also breaks down the gendered difference in how cheated-on partners react ('did you sleep with him' versus 'do you love her') and the legal quirk that kills most postnups. The most useful episode if you're actually weighing whether to get a prenup.
Read the full episode notesWorld No.1 Divorce Lawyer: If You Do This, Your Marriage Is Already Over.
Recorded while Bartlett was newly engaged, this is the origin episode for Sexton's 'slippage' framework and the most practical of the four, offering a concrete weekly ritual: tell your partner three things you love about them, three things they did that made you feel loved, and three things they could do better. Sexton also opens up about his own amicable divorce and his ex-wife's line that he'd never love a woman as much as he loves the law, then closes in tears describing a dream about his late mother that taught him to talk less and simply be present. Start here if you're new to Sexton or want the most actionable version of his advice before diving into the deeper cuts.
Read the full episode notesThat's all four James Sexton appearances in our library, ranked by how much new material each one covers. Browse our full episode summaries to find more conversations on relationships, marriage and the psychology behind them.